mercurykiss:

gentlemanbones:

camerapits:

themiracleofmusic:

oh.

Actually, I think the kid is playing Minecraft. Which is essentially digital Legos.

Two generations of creative people, just different methods of expression. Let’s not shit on the digital age as much, ‘eh?

You know what’s great about Minecraft?

You don’t get lacerations from stepping on it.

You know what’s great about legos?

Your shit doesn’t get blown up because a green penis snuck up on you.

isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.

THIS IS FUCKING IT.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED

THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 

BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.

NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials

kvotheunkvothe:

bluebananabowtie:

weirdotwins:

sophael:

waveformtheta:

haberdashing:

waveformtheta:

GUYS. THIS PLANET IS MADE LITERALLY OF DIAMONDS

ITS A FUCKING GIANT ASS DIAMOND

HUMANITIES SOLE PURPOSE IS OBVIOUSLY TO HAUL THAT SUCKER BACK HERE

I want to get an engagement ring without the diamond in it, and propose with it, and when she gets confused, I just show her this through the telescope and be like “I couldn’t find a diamond that deserved you in our solar system, how about that honker?”

Side note: It is named Cancri

Space is cool as fuck

DO NOT GO TO THE DIAMOND PLANET

I wanna fuck the diamond planet

That’s how he does it. That’s how he does it. He makes you fight. He makes you fight. Creeps into your head. Creeps into your head. And whispers. And whispers. Listen. Listen. Just listen. Just listen. That’s him. That’s him. Inside. Inside.

whats goin on in this post anymore?

NO ONE GO NEAR THE PLANET NO ONE KNOCK NO ONE MOVE

image

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